Text messaging is getting out of hand. Asking a girl out via text message is lame and extremely lazy. So is dumping a girl via text. Pick up the phone!
These days men have become increasingly comfortable using their cell phones, Blackberries, and iphones as modes of communication. I get it, it’s how our society is now structured, it’s how we conduct business, it’s how we communicate with our friends. But here’s the distinction- you are not his friend. You are a girl he wants to date- potentially a girlfriend or a wife. You’re not his homeboy or business associate (I wouldn't even dream of texting my business associates, by the way).
We women are partially to blame for this as we establish the bar in which men will treat us. We’ve ALLOWED men to get away with this kind of behavior by indulging it and engaging in it ourselves. Remember, in the beginning of a relationship you establish what you will tolerate and how he can and cannot treat you. Six months from now would you want your boyfriend to go days without having an actual phone conversation with you and, then somehow still manage to make it into your bed at the end of the day two or three times a week? What about a year from now, can you imagine having a “textual” relationship with your husband? Everything that makes face to face and voice to voice communication interesting is removed when texting. Further, don’t you want to hear the man that you’re interested in’s deep, smooth, sexy voice as opposed to reading a text with a smiley face at the end? :-)
There are times when texting is acceptable. For example:
Acceptable: I’m stuck in traffic, running about 10 minutes late.
Unacceptable: Meet for dinner Friday night @ 7, Gulf Stream?
Keep in mind this somewhat algebraic equation: Not calling + Texting = He doesn’t really want to talk to you = He’s just not that into you.
Manly men call, they don’t text.
So what do you do if your date texts? It’s quite simple, don’t respond. Ignore it and wait until he calls. This is another way of vetting men and separating the marginally interested from the seriously interested. If he wants to see you and make plans with you, he WILL call.
If A Man Picks You, Does That Mean That You Have To Pick Him?
Judging by the recent poll results by Loveawake dating site, everyone seems to overwhelmingly agree. LOL! I'm in agreement too, but I also think it is important for women to examine why a certain man is being rejected. For example are you rejecting him because:
- He doesn't wear the right jeans?
- He doesn't have enough swagger?
- Is he not good looking enough?
- He doesn't make enough money?
- You don't have the right chemistry or spark?
- Is he the wrong height?
It's important to examine why a man, who is interested in you, and shows affection toward you isn't making the cut.
Some Words About Chemistry, Money, and Looks
Women are like crock pots- slow cookers and it may take us sometime to "heat up." So make sure you are giving a guy a fair chance:
- Be sure that your personalities absolutely do not mesh and that this will be something that would be disruptive to your lives together.
- A man's income is also important. This is not gold digging! A woman must consider the type of life she wants to have with her mate and for her children (i.e. Do you want to live in a certain neighborhood? Do you want your children to be able to attend private schools?). BUT don't eliminate a man because he doesn't make exactly the amount of money you'd ideally like to see. Just because a man isn't at a certain level financially doesn't mean that he wont be at that level- and then some- in the future. Moreover, you can always build an empire together. So ask yourself: Does this man have ambition and a track record of proving himself and attaining goals? Is he an entrepreneur just starting to build his business? Is he working toward an advanced degree? Does he have a strong work ethic?
- Physical attraction is also important. No denying that. But there are other factors that can make a man attractive to a woman. Are you rejecting an educated, loving man, because he's balding? I also understand that we all have deal breakers, mine is physical fitness- no beer bellies please. Hey, I work out 4 days a week and focus on nutrition and diet, it's a big part of my life; but I don't expect my future husband to be some kind of Adonis either. At the same token it's important to recognize whether or not our deal breakers are hindering our relationship prospects.
I'm certainly NOT asking anyone here to lower their standards, just be mindful of your dating criteria.